To The Girl Meant To Break The Cycle

There was a moment when I realized the pain I was experiencing wasn’t random—it was patterned. The hurt, the abandonment, the broken relationships, the feeling of not being chosen— it all started to look familiar.

I didn’t notice it at first. I just thought this was how life worked.

But slowly, I began to see that I was living inside a cycle that had existed long before me.

From the outside, my family looked like the “perfect” church family. We showed up, smiled, and did all the things that made everything seem okay. But behind closed doors, it felt very different. My home life was often unstable, filled with tension and hurtful words that slowly shaped how I saw myself.

During a season that was supposed to feel joyful, my dad walked away, and everything shifted. What should have felt exciting instead felt heavy. I carried confusion, disappointment, and a growing sense that I wasn’t secure in the place that was supposed to feel safest. His absence created questions and a deep sense of abandonment that I didn’t know how to process.

I didn’t realize how much it affected me until I started feeling left behind. I felt held back by the lies I believed. I felt small, unsure of myself, and incapable of moving forward. It was as if I were chained to my home—not just physically, but emotionally. The patterns around me made me believe this was just my life and that I would always carry this weight.

Generational trauma has a way of convincing you that nothing will change. It whispers that you’ll repeat the same stories and that you’re powerless to stop it. For a long time, I believed that. I felt stuck in patterns that left me hurt and questioning my worth. I wondered if I was meant to keep experiencing the same abandonment and disappointment.

But God began to gently shift my perspective.

I started to slowly realize that while I may have inherited pain, I didn’t have to inherit the outcome. Through prayer, reflection, and surrender, I began to understand that I wasn’t just surviving a cycle—I was being called to break it.

That realization was both freeing and overwhelming.

Breaking a cycle means choosing a different path. It means stepping into unknown territory and believing I am capable even when I don’t feel ready.

The truth is, this doesn’t happen overnight—it is a process. If I’m being honest, it’s still a process I’m walking through every single day. Some days it looks like setting boundaries. Some days it looks like choosing forgiveness. Other days, it is simply reminding myself that I am not defined by what I come from. Each small decision becomes a step toward healing, and each step builds confidence that change is possible.

Scripture reminds me that God sees us differently than our circumstances do. Isaiah 43:18–19 says, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” God is not asking me to pretend the past didn’t happen, but instead, He is inviting me to believe He can create something new despite it.

I also hold onto Galatians 5:1: “It is for freedom that Christ has set me free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” For so long, I felt chained to my past and to the words spoken over me, but through Christ, I have permission to step into freedom.

Breaking the cycle doesn’t mean everything around me changed immediately. It means I started changing. I stopped viewing myself as incapable and started seeing myself as God’s daughter. I began to understand that my worth isn’t determined by abandonment or harsh words, but by God’s love for me.

Here is what has helped me break the cycle:

• Turning to God in prayer when resentment starts to build
• Reminding myself that my past does not define my future
• Choosing forgiveness, even when it feels difficult
• Setting emotional boundaries to protect my peace
• Learning that my worth comes from God
• Trusting that God is calling me into something new
• Taking small steps toward growth, even when I feel afraid

To the girl who feels trapped in her home, trapped in her past, or trapped by the way she’s been treated—you are not powerless. You may have grown up in brokenness, but you do not have to continue in it. God is calling you into freedom. He is giving you wisdom where there is confusion, courage where there is fear, and authority where there is doubt.

You are not defined by who left. You are not defined by the words spoken over you. You are not chained to the place you started. You are capable. You are chosen. You are being called forward.

And maybe, just maybe, you are the one who was always meant to break what broke you.

Allow this prayer to give you peace and comfort in this season of healing:

“Lord, I come to You just as I am, with everything I’ve carried from my past and everything I’m still trying to understand. Help me to truly believe that I am not stuck in the cycles I was born into or the pain I’ve experienced. When I feel trapped, remind me that You are a God who makes all things new. When lies about my worth and my future try to take root in my mind, replace them with Your truth. Teach me how to heal in a healthy way. Give me strength for the days it feels hard and clarity when I don’t know what to do next. Help me to see myself the way You see me and trust where You are leading me, even when I don’t fully understand it yet.

I love You, God. Amen.”

With love, Shasha <3