To the Girl in a Season of Singleness

Why am I single? Am I worthy of love? Why can’t I just be in a relationship? These are
questions I have asked myself more times than I can count.

I am turning 20 this year. The longest relationship I’ve been in has only been a couple of months.
I have never experienced young love, nor have I ever been in love. This is something that I used
to feel like I missed out on while seeing a lot of my friends get to experience it. As an only child,
I have grown up very independent, but the thought of having someone to love by my side has
always seemed amazing. I am sure a lot of girls my age can relate to this. Going into my
freshman year of college, I was half-jokingly convinced that I would find my husband within the
first month. This is quite the opposite of what happened.

After I settled into college and joined a sorority, I was looking for ways to continue to strengthen
my Christianity. I had given my life to Christ a few months prior, and I became aware that the
difference between my Catholic high school and college was that I had to pursue a relationship
with Him, rather than it chasing me. This is something I had never experienced before because in
high school, religion was at my fingertips daily.

I decided to join my sorority’s Bible study, which I thought was going to be a great way to meet
friends and grow my faith. Little did I know that not only would these girls turn into some of my
best friends, but my mindset on a Christ-centered life is nowhere near what I thought it was a
year ago. I learned what it means to be a woman of God and how to mature in that area of my
life.

I remember one of the first Bible study sessions like it was yesterday, and I think about it almost
every day. It was part of a series called “Sorority Girl Problems,” and we were focusing on
beauty, which was actually led by Marisol Gutierrez, who has written a handful of blogs for
Cherish. The first scripture verse that was taught is now my favorite one in the Bible:
Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is
to be praised.”

There are so many parts to this verse, but I want to focus on the second part, “…a woman who
fears the LORD is to be praised.” I was so in awe of this verse and have made it a goal of mine to
live it out. I have learned that in order to be in a healthy relationship, you must love God first.
What you put into your singleness now is what you will put into marriage when you’re ready.
While you don’t have much control over when you’ll meet the love of your life, you do have
control over strengthening your faith and being the person God has called you to be. Think of it this way: your significant other should not complete your life because God completes you. They
should be the cherry on top of your life.

Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing
of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is– his good, pleasing
and perfect will.”

Our culture’s view of relationships vs. God’s way is drastically different, but God’s way is
better. In our world where society glorifies being in a relationship and makes us feel unfulfilled
without one, it can make trusting God hard at times. When I used to see social media posts and
videos about those ideal relationships that a lot of girls desire, it got into my head and filled me
with jealousy. Don’t get me wrong, it still affects me, but I have learned how to ignore what the
world says so that I can follow God’s ways. To the girls reading this, I want you to know that
singleness is not a punishment; it’s a season of God’s will. God does not withhold anything from
you out of cruelty because he is a God of love, kindness, and goodness. He is handcrafting your
character, your faith, and teaching you to give up your cross to Him.

If I am being honest, there are still times that I question God’s goodness and timing, but as I have
spent more and more time in His word and prayer, the truth comes back. The lie I used to believe
was that I was not worthy of love. However, the truth is that God is preparing me for something
incredible that reflects the love He has for me. I have learned that singleness is not just about
waiting for the “right person,” but about becoming the woman He wants me to be.
1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
proud.”

Patience is the fruit of the Spirit, but it can make you feel stuck, especially when it feels like
some of your biggest desires are being unmet or you don’t see results right away. This goes for
so many scenarios in life, but trusting that God wants you to grow yourself in your singleness is
a powerful reminder that you are not wasting time; you are in preparation. I used to get mad at
God and question why He would do this to me if He loves me. The truth is God loves us SO
MUCH that He gives us hardships so that we can follow Him in obedience. In those quiet
seasons when our faith is tested, obedience may not always feel rewarding in the moment.
However, it’s an act of our trust in God who knows what is in store for you. Our future may be
unknown, but God IS known– and this is where our hope can rest.

So, why am I single? It’s not because I am unworthy of love or a relationship. It’s because God
is still writing my story, and that’s worth waiting for.
1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Here are some small reminders when you feel shame or impatience about your season of
singleness:

1. God is not absent, He is holding your hand every step of the way.
2. You are not behind, you are being strengthened.
3. God wants you to be loved like how He loves you.
4. You are loved. You are patient. You are worthy.
5. GIVE IT TO GOD

<3 Taylor Holloway