To the Girl Wanting to Feel Seen

We ALL want to feel seen. Whether it’s by a parent who never told you “ I’m so proud of you” or a boy that isn’t cherishing you as you want.  You just want him to desire you and to think you’re beautiful. Maybe it’s by the boss you so desperately want to tell you “good job”, maybe it’s as dumb as getting a “ you’re so pretty I love your outfit” by a girl that you think is cool at church—that you wanna be friends with. We can all reflect and think of a time like this where we desired to feel seen by another human.

There was a specific time in my life where this was all I wanted. I had a crush on this guy. I liked him for a while and after one night hanging out with him and friends,  I left not feeling right. The next morning I was sitting by myself in a coffee shop and I realized why I was so upset. This realization was hard for me to say to myself but it was true. All I wanted was for this boy to see me,  to desire me, to call me pretty. He wasn’t doing that and it hurt.

When we get into headspaces like that  it’s easy to get pretty down on ourselves, then go down a negative road and say things like “ It happened again no one saw what I did.” “No one is ever going to think I’m pretty what’s wrong with me.” “ If I was skinnier maybe he would go for me.” There’s ALL these things we can say to ourselves when this happens and the truth is we won’t ever really escape it.

There’s always going to be someone you want to have see you if you don’t let this very thing I’m about to say rule first in your life. You have to know that, no one on this earth is going to see us like Jesus. Nothing else will ever be enough than the comfort that his presence brings to our longing souls. No matter how hard you try. Even our spouses who DO cherish us and pursue us like God intends. They’re still not going to see and understand every part of you. You may get a “good job” every once in a while that feels good in the moment but then it passes.

Jesus sees the good and the bad in you and he calls you worthy. Genesis 16:13 says “ you are the God who sees me.” Hagar, an Egyptian servant said this after being mistreated as a slave. She became pregnant by Abram because his wife couldn’t bear children. Even though his wife wanted this to happen, she still  “treated her harshly” and Hagar ran away. The Lord appeared to her as an Angel and reassured her by reminding her of his promises. He keeps his word and he’s always making a better way for us.

There’s a song that I’ve listened to for many years now that slows me down and reminds me that God is Lord over my whole life. He is guiding me every step, not letting me go. It’s a short and sweet voice memo that Mosiac MSC put out. They call it “Heaven on Earth.” The song says “You have always seen me, you have always seen me.” It goes on to say, “ with heart and with soul, with every breath you compose a symphony, where beautiful hope believes in me.” He sees you when it feels like no one else does. He believes in you when people don’t. 

To the single girl right now fighting the urge to do something to make a man see you. Can I just say to you, run to the father instead because he’s making a way for you and your future spouse. He’s making it possible for you to never have to strive in that area because he’s going to speak to the man that needs to pursue YOU. He’s creating a beautiful story, just trust him for a bit longer!

To the girl wanting recognition for their work, know that there will be a time coming where God promotes you and he’s getting you ready. He sees your hard work you’re doing in the quiet where no one is watching and he’s getting you ready so your influence would be BIG! Remember in the times where you feel like no one cares or sees, remember how near your God is to you. He’s with you every step you take as your heavenly father, your friend, as your good counselor. He sees you.

– Claire Carlson