Loving the LGBTQ+ Community Like Jesus Would

From my earliest childhood memories, I always knew the month of June as “the fun month with rainbows.” Each year brought eager anticipation as I looked forward to attending the Seattle Pride parade with my moms. I loved the vibrant colors, lively music, and getting to wear a rainbow-colored tutu. It felt like a big, joyful celebration.

This may come as a surprise, but these parades were actually the first time that I had ever heard the name of Jesus. 

Every year, there would always be protests at the parade. As a young kid, I honestly didn’t understand why these protestors were even there. These protesters would hold up signs bearing messages that my family and I were going to hell, leading 5-year-old me to believe that this Jesus guy was mean, and had nothing but hate for me and my family. 

As I grew older, the harsh condemnation expressed on those protester signs became a recurrent theme echoed in my personal life and interactions with Christians. From being called slurs and mocked in elementary school for not having a father, to tensions arising with Christian family members, the message that we were worthy of judgment from others persisted.

These experiences led me to develop an honest disdain and resentment towards Christians. Whenever I came across Bible verses preaching love and non-judgment, I couldn’t help but scoff – these teachings never seemed to mirror the ways in which my family was treated by Christians. Instead, I embraced the overwhelming love and acceptance that the LGBTQ+ extended to my family and me. Pride parades became a sanctuary where we could bask in embrace, guaranteed to find kindness rather than hostility. 

It wasn’t until I was 15 that I discovered an even greater wellspring of love and acceptance existed.

At the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, a new girl who had recently moved onto my street invited me to a youth group. Despite having no interest in going, I felt obligated to extend some hospitality to her given her recent move. Reluctantly, I went. Once I got there, I boldly walked right up to the youth pastor and I blurted out – “Hi, I’m Marisol. I have two moms, what do you think about that?” She insisted that she and I get coffee next week. 

I remember when @aprilbiondolillo began to tell me about a kind of Jesus I had never heard about before. I thought to myself – “So you’re telling me that Jesus doesn’t hate me, or my moms?” “You’re telling me that God didn’t send Jesus to condemn the world, but to actually save the world?” I’m not exaggerating when I say that this was the very first time in my entire life that I had encountered any of these truths.

The more that I got to know Jesus, the more I began to realize that the portrayals presented to me as a child did not accurately represent His teachings and the way He lived.

When Jesus met with the woman at the well, when Jesus ate with sinners and tax collectors, when Jesus first met his disciples, He didn’t scream at them with a megaphone and tell them they were all going to hell –

He met with them. He ate with them. He embraced them. He sat with them. He loved them. 

A few months ago, I read a book titled “People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue” by Preston Sprinkle. (It is an awesome read if you want to learn more about this topic!) In this book, Sprinkle shares a statistic that honestly made my jaw drop – 

The Barna Group conducted a survey among 16-29 year olds, asking non-Christians about their perceptions of Christianity. Most of the young people surveyed had experienced personal contact with the Christian church at some point.

91% of young non-Christians say when they hear of Evangelical Christians, the first thing they think of is “anti-gay”

87% say judgmental

85% say hypocritical

There is a problem with our approach if this is how we are described by non-religious people. These are similar to the words that Jesus used to describe the Pharisees. We have become known for the very things Jesus stood against. 

I don’t say any of this to shame or condemn anyone, but rather to call each other higher and recognize that we have historically not always taken the most loving approach in reaching LGBTQ+ people. 

The reason that I am writing this now is because this month there are going to be a lot of parades, a lot of marketing campaigns, and a lot of merchandise sold in businesses that might upset or frustrate a lot of Christians. 

As Christians, we represent something greater than ourselves, we are called to represent Christ. 2 Corinthians 5:20 says “We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.” 

I believe that we as Christians have an opportunity this month to embrace our role and calling as ambassadors of Christ. We have an opportunity this month to demonstrate the genuine love of Christ to the LGBTQ+ community. 

After lots of prayer, research, and reflection on my personal experience, I’ve compiled some insights on how Christians can refine their approach and cultivate deeper love for the LGBTQ+ community —

1. Be Intentional With Your Personal Platform

Shortly after I came to faith, I joined my youth groups leadership team. Being on this team, I got to know a few students who would frequently post unkind graphics about LGBTQ+ people on their Instagram stories. My heart would break everytime I came across one of these posts, because all I could think to myself was “Jesus would have never made fun of them.” 

The things that we say, do, and post as followers of Jesus matters. Ephesians 4:29 tells us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” 

Before speaking or posting, pause and consider the people around you or those who follow you. Ask yourself if what you’re about to say or share would draw them closer to Jesus, or push them away.

Pride month simply represents a group of people who are looking for love and acceptance. What better time to introduce people to the reality of a greater love and acceptance that surpasses any community this world can offer? Because of this, I think if a Christian goes through pride month and posts only about what Target did that upset them we are missing out on an opportunity for the Kingdom. 

In a month where there is going to be a lot of divide, political disputes, and angry disagreements, take this as an opportunity to be set apart as a follower of Jesus. Use your influence and your platform to share the love and Good News of the Gospel. 

2. Invite Into Community & Develop Relationship

Preston Sprinkle, in his book, draws a comparison between how the Pharisees used to view tax collectors, and how some Christians perceive LGBTQ+ people today. And honestly, I would argue that this is a pretty accurate comparison. 

Above anything else, 91% of non-Christians perceive Evangelical Christians as “anti-gay.” Would tax collectors have wanted to get to know Jesus if he was known as “anti-tax” collector? 

Tax collectors gravitated towards Jesus because he was the Lord, He reflected light everywhere He went. He befriended them, He sat and ate dinner with them, He developed a relationship. 

Similarly, fostering relationships and inviting LGBTQ+ individuals into our community is crucial. (Luke 14:12-14)

The LGBTQ+ community provides community to LGBTQ+ people. They will never know that a greater kind of community exists until we present it to them and actively invite them in. 

People gravitate to where they will feel most loved. If the world loves LGBTQ+ people more than the church is willing to, they will never get to experience the love of Christ. 

Because of this, Christians should have more, not less LGBTQ+ friends. Build relationships with the people around you and in your community. 

In light of this perspective, it’s important to acknowledge that forming relationships with LGBTQ+  people can often lead to encountering challenging and complex questions.

For example, If someone were to ask you the question, “is being gay a sin” a relationship-centered response could look like:

“I want to answer your question, can I buy you coffee over the next four weeks first? I want to get to know you better and your story as well as I want you to learn mine!”

This is an example that Preston Sprinkle lays out in his book, but the funny thing is that I remember when I read this I thought to myself “that’s basically how April, my youth pastor, responded to that exact same question.” 

I am now a follower of Jesus. 

3. Point To Jesus 

Sometimes I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to do work in people’s lives, and we forget that Jesus already did everything for us on the cross. We are ultimately called to point people to Him and His truth, let Jesus and the Holy Spirit do the rest of the work.

Jesus never said “love the people hate the sin.” Jesus truly led with love, which meant he developed a relationship before pointing out sin. 

Point them to JESUS and the saving truth of the Gospel. Point them to the abundant life and truth that His life, death, and resurrection provides. Share the work that He has done from your life and the sin He has rescued you from. 

I believe that this month the church has an opportunity to be ambassadors for Christ; to demonstrate the ultimate and saving love towards the LGBTQ+ community that we have neglected to authentically display for so long. 

I wrote this for the little girl who grew up with a distorted view of Jesus for 15 years, but also to those nearest and dearest to my heart who still wrestle in the weighty, constricting chains of church hurt.

My earnest prayer is that we find the courage to reimagine and refine how we convey the message of Jesus – one rooted in His radical love, prioritizing empathy, patience, and grace.

Questions for Reflection & Prayer Points

1. When was the last time you allowed yourself to meet with someone different than you? 
2. What is a bold step you can take this month to walk out being an ambassador for Christ?