You may be praying for a godly friend—but God may also be inviting you to become one.

“Lord, I just wish I had a friend who shows up for me, invites me out to spend quality time, and draws me closer to You. I haven’t found that person yet. What do I do?”

Sound familiar? I know I’ve asked that question more times than I can count. I prayed it throughout high school, and now, as I’m entering college, I find myself praying that same prayer over this next school year.

So many of us pray, “Lord, bring me godly friends.” But what if God is also asking us, “Will you become one?”

The friend who shows up.
The friend who invites you in.
The friend who listens.
The friend who tells you the truth in love.
The friend who celebrates you without comparison.
The friend who points you back to Jesus.

Maybe you are thinking, “I’m a good friend. I read my Bible, volunteer in my community, and spend time with people who seem like they should be my best friends, but nothing seems to attract the right company.”

At 18 years old, I have seen a thing or two about friendship. I have had the friends I did the most side quests with—the ones I talked with for hours about everything new in our lives—yet I still ended up feeling empty after we hung out.

So what is the difference?

A good friend asks, “How can I be a nice friend to you?” A godly friend asks, “How can I love you in a way that reflects Christ?”

In John 15:13–15, Jesus shows us the kind of love that friendship is meant to reflect: sacrificial, faithful, and rooted in Him. He calls us friends while also showing us how to be friends—by serving, loving deeply, and speaking truth in love.

Jesus even knew Judas would betray Him, yet He still washed his feet and broke bread with him. Because we are human, our friendships will not always be reciprocated, and our patience may run thin. There will be conflict. But we can choose to respond with grace, speak life about people, and care even for those who offend us, relying on God through those seasons too.

Growing up, I was always looking for tangible, attainable ways to show up as a godly friend. Here are some realistic swaps you can practice while waiting for the right people.

A Good Friend Encourages You

A good friend notices the things you are proud of and makes sure you know she is cheering you on. She compliments your appearance, celebrates your accomplishments, hypes you up before a big event, and reminds you of your strengths when you are feeling insecure. Whether it is telling you that your hair looks amazing, your outfit is cute, or that you absolutely crushed your presentation, she wants you to feel confident and affirmed.

A godly friend encourages who you are in Christ.

She sees beyond your appearance or accomplishments and affirms your character, faith, kindness, and the ways she sees Christ working in your life. Compliments on your hair or new shoes are sweet, but a godly friend points you back to your identity in Christ rather than worldly validation. Your real identity is rooted in Him.

A Good Friend Avoids Pointless Drama

If something bothers her, a good friend talks about it rather than letting the friendship fall apart. She tries to communicate, hear your side, and move on.

A godly friend does not just avoid drama—she actively chooses grace.

When she feels hurt or misunderstood, she does not immediately assume the worst or let anger take control. She remembers how much grace God has given her and chooses to extend that same grace when she comes to you. She seeks real solutions with an open heart.

A Good Friend Makes Time for You

A good friend makes plans, invites you places, grabs coffee with you, goes shopping, watches movies, and makes memories with you. She puts effort into maintaining the friendship and prioritizes having fun with you by her side.

A godly friend is intentional with your time together.

She thinks beyond simply having fun together. She asks, “How can the time we spend together help us grow?” She makes room for Bible studies, prayer, meaningful conversations, serving, creativity, and activities that encourage both of you in your walk with Christ—while still taking cute Instagram pictures and making memories. She builds a life-giving friendship with you.

A Good Friend Tells You the Truth

A good friend is honest with you. She will tell you if she thinks you are making a bad decision, if your outfit is not working, or if she thinks you are being unreasonable. She would rather be honest than fake.

A godly friend speaks truth in love.

A godly friend understands that truth without love can hurt, while love without truth is not helpful. She is willing to have difficult conversations, but her goal is not to prove you wrong or make herself feel superior. She speaks truth because she genuinely wants what is best for you and wants to see you grow.

A Good Friend Does Not Gossip About You

A good friend keeps your secrets, does not embarrass you in front of other people, and does not constantly talk badly about you behind your back. She understands that gossip can ruin trust.

A godly friend honors the people God created.

She does not avoid gossip only because it could damage her friendships. She chooses her words carefully because she recognizes the value God has placed on every person. She remembers that the people she talks about are made in God’s image too. She helps pivot conversations toward ideas, hopes, and plans rather than other people’s business.

Ephesians 4:29 reminds us to use words that build others up and give grace to those who hear.

A Good Friend Shows Up When She Can

A good friend is dependable. She texts you back, remembers your birthday, shows up to your events, follows through on plans, and is there when you need someone to hang out with. She is someone you know you can count on.

A godly friend loves sacrificially.

A godly friend understands that friendship is not always about convenience. She loves even when it costs her something. She makes sacrifices, carries burdens, forgives when it is difficult, and chooses faithfulness even when being a good friend is not easy or fun.

Be the Friend

At the end of the day, we all want good friends. We want the girl who texts us first, invites us out, remembers the little things, celebrates our wins, listens when we are hurting, and shows up when we need her.

There is nothing wrong with wanting those things. Friendship is a beautiful gift from God.

But while we are searching for like-minded girls, let us be the kind of friend we hope to find.

Be the girl who shows up.
Be the girl who invites someone in.
Be the girl who listens before assuming.
Be the girl who speaks truth, but speaks it in love.
Be the girl who celebrates others without comparing herself.
Be the girl who chooses grace when it is easier to hold a grudge.
Be the girl who uses her friendships to point others toward Jesus.

You do not have to be a perfect friend. None of us are. But you can be a friend who is willing to love others the way Christ has loved you.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times.”

So, as you enter this next season, do not only pray for the friend you have been hoping to find. Pray that God would shape you into the friend someone else has been praying for.

Somewhere, there may be a girl asking God for someone who will show up for her, love her well, speak truth into her life, and point her back to Jesus.

What if you could be the answer to that prayer?

Read

Read John 15:12–17, Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 17:17, and Colossians 3:12–14.

As you read, notice how Jesus loves His friends: with humility, truth, sacrifice, and grace.

Reflect

• Am I more focused on finding a godly friend or becoming one?
• Which quality of a godly friend do I most want God to grow in me?
• Is there a friendship where I need to choose grace, speak truth in love, or release comparison?
• How can I use my words this week to build someone up?

Journal

Write down the name of one person God may be inviting you to love more intentionally.

Then finish these sentences:

• “I want to become a friend who…”
• “One practical way I can show up for someone this week is…”
• “God, help me let go of the pressure to be everyone’s favorite friend by…”
• “I can point my friends toward Jesus by…”

Pray

Jesus, thank You for calling me Your friend and for loving me so faithfully. Help me to stop placing all my hope in finding the perfect friendships and to become the kind of friend who reflects You. Give me grace when friendships are hard, wisdom to speak truth in love, and a heart that celebrates others without comparison. Show me who needs to feel seen, included, encouraged, or prayed for this week. Shape me into a friend who points others back to You. Amen.