To The Girl Battling Anxiety

Hey girl, let me talk to you a little bit about anxiety and the part it has played in my walk with God.

First of all, I want to be clear that anxiety is not something I have sought attention for outside of the realm of those around me. It is not a diagnosis and I want to be sensitive to the different forms it can take! All I can do is share my testimony.

I truly believe my battle with anxiety has been an overwhelmingly spiritual one. From a young age, I remember being overcome with these “spells” that felt like a huge weight on my chest and left me gasping for air. This normally would come out of the blue, not necessarily triggered by anything specific. I would be in my bed at night and suddenly feel this way- driving to church, hanging out with friends, etc. My family got glimpses of what I was dealing with, but no one really knew the impact it was having on my everyday life and my walk with God. It brought me to my knees many times, and left me wondering why this was a part of me.  It was exhausting. I normalized it, thinking this was simply something that some people deal with. This lasted for years.

In my senior year of high school, I was struggling with this feeling during a chapel service. For whatever reason, I was fed up that day. Why can’t I participate in chapel without feeling the inescapable need to regulate my breathing? Again y’all- I did not have asthma. This was a spiritual attack. I knew I needed change. I went to one of my mentors at the time and gave her a quick run down of what I had been dealing with for at least the last 7 years of my life. She shared that she has had similar experiences and prayed over me at that moment. Not only did she pray, but she committed to ongoing prayer for me and this burden. 

For the first time in my life, I realized I did not have to live like this. The Lord is actually capable of taking this from me. I was ready for deliverance. A couple of months passed, and I noticed that this weight had been lifted. This feeling had not overtaken me in a while now. Initially, I was hesitant to acknowledge this. I thought maybe this was just a good season, and it would come back like it always did. Then the Lord impressed on my heart: what if I began living as if this was true freedom? What if I, as an act of faith, believed that I was truly healed? 

So that is what I did. I started telling my friends and family that I was healed. I walked into freedom, rather than shying away in fear. And y’all, I am here today- almost two years after the fact- still walking in this freedom. God fully delivered me. I called on His name, and He saved me, just like His Word says.

The same mentor who had been praying for me reached out after some time to see if I would share this part of my story with my church. I agreed and we recorded a video that was later shared on a Sunday morning. Of course afterwards, I had many people comment but there was one that particularly stood out to me. An older man, who I hadn’t talked to much before, came up to me astounded at the fact that “someone like me” would struggle with “something like this.”

 This conversation is one I still find myself processing today. What I would like to share here is that God sees you. This gentleman did not see the struggle, in fact many of my loved ones did not. God did, and He still does. I do not know why He decided to heal me. All I know is that He is good, and He is my Healer.

I believe confession and sharing my testimony played a huge part in my journey of overcoming. I overcame by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony. (Revelation 12:11) I believe there is power in speaking up. As I said before, God sees you. If you resonate with my story, allow others to see you too. Give them a seat at the table. Invite them to link arms with you and pray. Receive encouragement and support. God is good and His desire is for your freedom.