For The Girl Stuck In Comparison

For many years of my life, I was stuck in a constant cycle of comparison. I based my worth on the opinion of others because outside of what people thought of me, I didn’t know who I was. My identity was found in things that could be measured: how many friends I had, how much attention I got, how much I weighed. I was in a constant cycle of chasing after something I couldn’t reach, and I never felt good enough. But the truth is, according to the world’s standards, you will never feel ‘good enough.’ If you play the comparison game, you will find that there will always be someone prettier, smarter, and more popular than you. It is impossible to find contentment in worldly standards. It is only through a relationship with Christ that you are able to walk in the FULLNESS of who God created YOU to be.

True identity is found in Christ, whose love and goodness could never be measured. As you grow near to Him and experience His love, you will learn that your life’s purpose was never about winning the approval of others.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10

The enemy uses jealousy to keep you small and lacking purpose in your life. He came only to steal, kill, and destroy all things God created, including the purpose and plan the Lord has for your life. Comparison will kill your calling. The devil would love nothing more than for you to be so consumed with your own image that you are only focused inward, not upward to God and outward to humanity as the Lord intended. Comparison keeps you stuck and unable to walk in true purpose. God created you so uniquely and with such a specific purpose and calling for your life that only YOU could fulfill.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” – Psalm 139:13

When the Lord calls you out of the darkness and into the light of His presence, He doesn’t just call you to go to Heaven—He calls you to fulfill a mission here on earth. Nothing and no one could ever take that away from you. Some of the things you hate about yourself may be your greatest strengths for the Kingdom. Every feature and every quality about you was uniquely designed by God for a REASON! The qualities we value on earth are often vain, temporary things that don’t actually define you. The only opinion of you that truly matters is the Lord’s, and He values your heart above all things.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment… Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” – 1 Peter 3:3–4

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

Learn to uplift others instead of tearing them apart out of envy. Why do you think satan turned against God and left Heaven to become his own ruler? He was JEALOUS of God! Instead of glorifying the Lord, he wanted the power, authority, and glory of Christ for himself, so he fell along with one-third of the angelic realm. His only aim is to try and tear you down with him, and so many people are stuck living in this trap. Having jealousy and an envious heart is a sin and is NOT God honoring.

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” – James 3:16

We were never meant to compare ourselves to others and tear down our own brothers and sisters in Christ. The Lord created us for UNITY with Him and with one another.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” – Romans 12:18

A meaningful relationship is one that builds, uplifts, and encourages. It’s impossible to love someone well if you are holding onto jealousy in your heart. You will be miserable if you live life as a competition. The life the Lord has given us is a TEAM sport, not an individual one. Each member of the body of Christ is necessary for building the Kingdom. It is the body of Christ versus the forces of evil, not you versus your neighbor. When we have the mindset of comparison, we distract ourselves from our mission here on earth. Fix your eyes on JESUS instead of yourself, and watch your life change.

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:2

We have to keep our eyes locked on Christ in order to accomplish the Lord’s will for our lives. Naturally, as your eyes are fixed on Jesus, your life becomes centered around Him instead of yourself.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3

Start by practicing giving others compliments and finding something uplifting to say about someone next time you are tempted to tear them down. It takes practice, but over time you will begin to see others the way Jesus does, through a lens of love and mercy.

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’” – 1 Samuel 16:7

Insecure people tend to tear others down in hopes that it will make them feel better, but in reality, uplifting someone else will never lower your own worth. Your purpose is NOT the same as theirs; two flowers can bloom in the same f ield!! Lastly, give THANKS to the Lord!! Freedom from comparison starts by thanking God for what we have. What a miracle it is that you are even alive today!! This life is precious and it is a GIFT that the Lord created you! The God of all creation made YOU!! You are precious in God’s eyes, and He never ceases to think of you.

“How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand…” – Psalm 139:17–18

When you see yourself from the eyes of our Father, it is impossible to tear down what He has created.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” – Psalm 139:14

When you live a life of gratitude, thoughts of jealousy can not remain. There is a REASON the Lord tells you to be grateful! Gratitude points your eyes back to Christ and rewires your brain to appreciate every aspect of your life instead of wishing it were different. Our gratitude is pleasing to the Lord, and it is a simple mindset shift that we need to practice daily in order to live a more sanctified life.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

You only have so many years here on earth, don’t waste them away tearing yourself and others down. Each human on earth is a masterpiece designed by God; who are we to say otherwise?

“But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” – Romans 9:20

When I gave my life to Christ, I immediately noticed a shift in my mindset around the way I viewed myself and others. On my way home from the church retreat where I gave my life to Christ, I realized that for the first time in years, I wasn’t thinking about the way my body looked. That was the first time I remember feeling so loved not for the way I looked, but for who I was inside. Jesus came that we may have life ABUNDANTLY, and living a life bound by comparison is not the Lord’s will for your life! He wants MORE for you than a life spent striving after what was never meant for you to chase!

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” – Proverbs 14:30

It can be natural at times to feel inclined to compare, but next time you find your mind drifting towards jealousy, remember to take those thoughts captive and remind yourself who the Lord called YOU to be. Every one of His plans for you WILL come to pass. His plans for you are perfect and so much better than you could imagine if you choose to be obedient to Him. His plans for your life will prevail and no one could ever take that away from you. It has been a journey of ups and downs, but the more I cling to Christ, the more I am able to walk in my true identity, uplift others, and give thanks to the Lord for all He has done, including creating me. TRUE freedom is found in Christ alone, and He wants to heal your mind today if you will only surrender. When we surrender envy, peace and joy begin to replace striving in order to live a life of true purpose.