To The Girl Who Feels Behind

If I’ve learned anything this past year, it’s that feeling behind doesn’t mean you are – it usually
means God is preparing something you just can’t see yet.

I used to carry that pressure quietly. It would creep in during late nights, through overthinking
and seeing posts of people who seemed to have it all together. It said things like:
“You should be further along by now.”
“Everyone else is figuring it out, why aren’t you?”
“Are you really doing enough?”
And maybe, you’ve felt that too.

I’m 18, and even though that’s still so young (I know), sometimes it feels like I’m already behind
in life. Not because someone told me I was… but because I’ve told myself I was. That voice used to take up way too much space in my head. I really thought I was behind – behind in life, behind in my calling, and behind whatever timeline I decided I was supposed to be on. But the thing about God is: He’s never in a hurry, YET He’s never late.

Not too long ago, I was living in this weird in-between place. I was a Student Ministry Resident
at my church – pouring into students, learning, growing, and serving in the very area I felt called
to be in – while also nannying full-time to support my mom and I financially. I wanted to honor
the commitment I made to the family I nannied for, but I also felt God gently pulling me towards
something more. I could feel the shift coming, I just didn’t know what obedience was supposed
to look like yet.

Then came this moment when I knew God was asking me to take a huge step of faith, to stop
nannying and go full time into ministry before I had any guarantee of what was next. That job
was my only source of income and He wanted me to somehow trust that He would meet me in
the unknown. It made absolutely no sense on paper, but I could feel Him saying, just trust me.

So I did. Anxiously.

And now, looking back, I can see what He was doing all along. That step of faith led to one of
the coolest opportunities and biggest gifts of my life – getting hired on as the Student Director, a
full-time paid staff member! Little did I know, God was going to honor my obedience to follow
His calling on my life to step into full-time ministry, while providing everything I’d need along
the way.

There’s something that happens when you finally step into the very thing you used to pray about.
It’s humbling and beautiful because you realize God was continuously writing your story the
whole time, you just couldn’t see the next page yet.

Now I’m standing on the other side of that season, and I can honestly say: God really does write
better stories than I do.

Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or
imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…”

This verse has carried me through this past season and I’ve got to see it unfold in real time – not
in one big, magical moment, but in the small, ordinary ones. It showed up in the quiet mornings before students arrived and in the late nights when sermon prepping felt overwhelming. In moments of choosing obedience when no one else saw and trusting that if God was calling me to full-time ministry, then He would also provide what I needed to walk in it.

And He did. Faithfully.

And what I’ve learned about this new season is that it’s not about arriving. It’s about learning to
keep trusting the same God who brought me here in the first place. One of my favorite verses is, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.’” Jeremiah 29:11

That verse has followed me for years, but it feels different reading it now because I’m realizing
that God’s plans don’t start when things finally make sense – no, they’ve been unfolding the
whole time.

Stepping into this new season has grown me in ways I didn’t expect. It’s shown me the beauty of
behind-the-scenes faithfulness. I’ve learned that ministry isn’t always exciting or flashy, but
sometimes it’s messy, stretching, quiet, and awkward. It has made me laugh, cry, wrestle with
imposter syndrome, and realize that my calling doesn’t require perfection, it requires surrender.
And even now, with a role I once prayed for, I still don’t have a perfect map of what’s ahead –
I’m still figuring it out. Still asking Him to lead me and still learning to trust Him, but most importantly, still learning to be okay with the not yet. Because the “not yet” seasons were preparation, the waiting built trust, and the moments of uncertainty taught me to depend on Him more than my own plans.

So to the girl who still feels behind – whether it’s in your calling, your education, your
relationships, your faith, or just life in general – hear me when I say this: You’re not behind, you’re becoming. God is building something in you that can’t be rushed. He sees the quiet yeses, the risks that felt small, and the moments you chose to obey even when you were unsure – those moments matter
more than you realize.

So remember this: You’re not late. You are right on time for what God is doing in your life!
And the girl you’re becoming? She’s confident in her calling, learning to trust God in EVERY
season! Not just when life is easy or exciting, but when it’s quiet and uncertain. She’s steady,
faithful, and she’s exactly where God wants her to be.

I used to think being “called” meant having everything figured out, but now I know it’s simply
choosing to keep saying yes, even when you don’t know the whole path. And that? That’s
enough.

So here’s what I want you to remember:

• You’re not late. You’re just learning to walk at God’s pace.
• You’re not behind. You’re being prepared.
• You’re not missing out. God knows exactly where you are and the promises He has for
  you.
• You don’t have to have it all figured out to be faithful.
  
  If you’re anything like me, you’ve had days of comparison. Wishing your life looked more like
  hers, and wondering why your path feels a little messier, a little slower. But God’s not rushing
  you. He’s writing something specific, something beautiful, something eternal. You’re not behind, you’re just being built. But when you find yourself doubting – take a moment and let these words that helped guide me, be your prayer too:
  
  “God, I feel like I’m behind. Behind in life, behind in finding my calling, and behind in all the things I
  thought would’ve happened by now. I see people around me stepping into relationships,
  opportunities, next chapters and I can’t help but wonder if I’m missing something. But I don’t want to sit in that fear anymore. I want to believe You see me, that You’re not late, and that You haven’t forgotten where I am or who I am. Remind me that I’m not behind, I’m being built. Remind me that You’re still writing my story, even if I’m only on chapter two, and remind me that waiting isn’t wasted when it’s with You. Help me release the pressure I put on myself to figure it all out and help me trade striving for surrender. I trust that Your plans for me are good, I trust that Your timing is perfect, and I trust that “immeasurably more” is still ahead. Even when I feel uncertain, I choose to follow You and even when I don’t see what’s next, I’ll keep saying yes because You are not done with me and You never were. I’m not behind, I’m becoming.
  Amen.”
  <3 Abigail Daniel