Me Too

I want to start this by saying, “me too.”I I grew up in the church. It was like my second home. Everything felt safe. 

I knew I belonged, until I didn’t. 

No one ever kicked me out or pointed at me yelling, “sinner.” Nothing like that. Rather, there wasn’t a lot of talk around the things I was struggling with. Nothing direct that is. Therefore, I believed I was too defiled for God to love me. 

I mean how often is pornography addressed in the church, and not the pornography associated with men, but with women. What about masturbation?…sexting? Or how about “don’t have sex before marriage”. We’ve all heard it before, but no one really explains the why behind it, especially without shame wrapped around it. 

And maybe at this point you’re feeling uncomfortable. Like woah girl, please, let’s not go here. 

I get it. 

Yet, 14 year old April desperately needed someone to go “here”. Someone willing to talk about the things people feel uneasy to discuss. 

My 8th grade self was longing to have a real relationship with Jesus. The tangible connection with Jesus people write books about, declare on big stages, and travel around the world proclaiming. 

Yet, I was addicted to sexting. I had a stronger connection with sexting than I did with Jesus. 

AND NO ONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT. 

But I knew. The Jesus inside of me told me it was wrong. Not in a shameful or hateful way, but in a loving-there-is-more kind of way. 

Meaning, I was worth more. I deserved more. I was loved more. I was valued more. More than sexting could ever give me. But I didn’t know how to obtain that. I needed someone to show me there was another way. More than ever, I needed to know I wasn’t alone.

Why at church did it seem like no one else struggled with waiting till they were married? How come sexual sin was only ever associated with boys and not girls?

Here’s the truth: 

The night I shared my sexting addiction of 5 years to my youth group of 100, something shifted in my heart. 

 

God was calling me to share my story.

Girls, you are not alone in your struggle. Sexual sin is real, but God’s love for you is BIGGER. 

 

Follow along, I’ll show you through my story.