To the Girl Struggling to Be Content

I’ve had a relationship with the Lord for 22 of my 27 years, and as I’ve grown older and deepened that relationship, I’ve come to realize that one of the biggest challenges in the Christian journey is application. It’s not just about what we know or the truths we’ve been taught—it’s about putting those truths into practice in our daily lives. Whether you’ve known Jesus for 22 years, 22 days, or 22 minutes, I want you to know this is something we all wrestle with.

One lesson that’s been standing out to me lately is the importance of applying contentment. It’s one thing to understand it conceptually, but it’s another thing entirely to live it out. Contentment requires patience and peace. It’s choosing to be present, which I believe is an act of surrender—and it’s through obedience that true contentment begins to take root in our hearts.

The world constantly tells us to glorify “the hustle.” Chase the next goal, secure the promotion, build the brand, hit every milestone by a certain age—and if you don’t, you’re somehow behind. But these cultural checkpoints were never meant to be our compass. When we measure our worth by the world’s timeline, we’ll always fall short and feel like we don’t measure up. That’s because our souls weren’t designed to be satisfied by worldly achievement—they were created to be satisfied by Christ and Christ alone.

I can’t even tell you how many times in my own life I’ve found myself struggling with the idea of contentment. There was a long stretch where I didn’t quite understand what the restlessness or dissatisfaction in me was. This desire to always chase, be better, and look for what’s next.

Last August, I got the job I had been praying for after two years! The job I was at before was becoming worse, and the timing of the new offer was completely unexpected—but I was so excited! And yet, it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, and I started to panic and look for something else almost immediately. Not to spoil the ending for you, but I’m still in that job today—and it’s turned out to be a blessing in a way I didn’t realize I needed. I was so quick to run from something uncomfortable and forgot that this was what I had asked God for. I went from thanking Him to being discontent again before I had even signed the contract.

So why do we keep trying to fill our spiritual hunger with earthly food? Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst” (John 6:35). Earthly desires might temporarily distract or excite us, but they cannot truly satisfy. Only Jesus can do that. And the more we chase what the world offers, the more spiritually empty we become.

If you find yourself discontent, worn out, or wondering, “Why do I feel like something is missing?”—pause and ask yourself: Am I seeking Jesus for what He can do for me, or am I simply seeking Him for who He is? Because the true blessing isn’t in what He gives; it’s found in His presence. Psalm 16:11 reminds us, “In Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Another area where I’ve found myself fighting for contentment is my dating life. I’m one of those girls who thought she’d be married by 25 and pregnant by 27. That hasn’t been my story. And while I constantly tell God (and myself) that I’m “totally okay and fine,” I still find myself discontent—especially lately, not even being able to find someone I’m interested in. No crush, no prospect, no nothing. That’s caused more frustration in the past few months than just not being a wife overall. Honestly, this is probably the area where I struggle with contentment the most.

Letting go and letting God take the lead here has been harder than I thought it would be. Can I suggest something that helped me? Try putting it aside completely for just one week. Delete the apps, stop scanning the room for someone new every week at church, stop comparing yourself when your friend and her boyfriend walk in. Just let it go. When I tell you that simply pushing it aside changes everything, I’m not kidding. That’s what fully giving it to God looks like. And I know what you’re thinking— “Abby, I can’t help it if I think about a boy.” Actually, you can. You are in control of your thought life. You have the power to redirect your thoughts—so give it a try.

Contentment isn’t found in answered prayers, milestones achieved, or dreams fulfilled—it’s found in Christ alone. If you’re not content where you are now, getting the thing you’ve been praying for won’t suddenly fix that ache inside. As Paul writes in Philippians 4:11–12, “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content… I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.”

Honestly, if I’m not careful, discontentment can infiltrate every area of my life, my job, my singleness, my friendships, my family, my apartment. Comparison plays a big role in that too, but I’ve learned it all comes back to contentment. When I focus on thanking God for what I have right now—knowing He’s provided for me this far and will continue to—I have the peace of mind to walk in joy every day.

I’m not telling you not to dream or set goals. But I am asking: are you laying those dreams at the foot of the cross and surrendering them to the One who can actually make them happen? Are you spending time with Him simply to be with Him—or just to get an answer or see movement in a certain area?

So, my challenge for you is this: ask yourself where you feel discontent right now. Be honest. Name it. Give it to God—and then let it be. We all deserve to experience joy right where we’re at, and more importantly, He deserves our praise and worship no matter what.

<3 Abby Stapleton