You are not alone. You are more loved than you know, and God can use even the waiting seasons of friendship for something beautiful.

Hi! My name is Emersyn, and I have always struggled with feeling like I am no one’s favorite friend or their “go-to person.”

I always find myself asking: How come I have so many friends, yet I don’t have just one person who feels like my person?

I have been so incredibly blessed to have so many amazing girls in my life who, without a doubt, love and support me. Each of these friendships is incredibly unique, and I have so much love for every girl God has brought into each chapter of my life.

So I often wonder why, when I know I have so many amazing friends, I can still find myself at 9:00 on a Friday night, crying in my room and feeling like I have absolutely no one who wants to hang out with me.

Or why, on a Saturday, I can scroll through my contacts looking for someone to invite over while convincing myself that whoever I ask probably already has plans with friends they would rather hang out with.

The Extra Seat at the Table

I started to really hate school.

My family would always tell me, “Well, school can’t be that bad because you get to see your friends all day!”

And I did have friends. I knew they liked me and wanted me around, but I struggled with the thought: If I didn’t come to school tomorrow, would they even notice I was gone?

Did my presence matter to them, or was I just an extra seat taken up at the table? Someone who was just kind of… there?

Yet, on the other side of that, I would always find myself being the person people liked to vent to—which I loved!

In my head, I thought that if I could be someone who gave good advice, listened well, and was genuinely interested in everyone else’s problems, then maybe I would start feeling chosen. Maybe I would finally find my people—people who cared about what was going on in my life, too.

So I became deeply invested in the problems and successes of everyone around me. I put so much care into their feelings, yet I still felt like I had no one who would care enough to listen to mine.

What God Has Taught Me in the Waiting

It took me a long time to realize that all of the tears, feelings of loneliness, and moments of feeling like a burden are not meaningless.

Psalm 27:14 is a verse I constantly recite to myself:

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Waiting can feel hard, but I have come to realize that this season of waiting has actually been one of the biggest blessings God has given me.

This season has taught me patience. It has helped me figure out who I really am. And, most importantly, it has taught me to trust the Lord.

I have stopped obsessing over when I will find my person or my people and started focusing on how I can make the most of the season I am in.

I don’t have to know exactly when or how God will bring new friendships into my life to trust that He is still writing a good story. And honestly, I am learning to be okay with waiting.

Maybe the reason I don’t have one specific person right now is because God knows I have so much to give to more than just one person or one group.

Maybe the loneliness I have felt is part of what has shaped me into someone full of empathy—someone who is always willing to listen and genuinely cares for the people around her.

Maybe Being the “Floater Friend” Isn’t a Bad Thing

Someone once described me as a “floater friend.”

At first, I thought of that as a bad thing.

But God has shown me that being a “floater friend” might actually be exactly where He wants me right now. Because of it, I have been able to be the friend I have prayed for to so many different people, even if only for a short time.

Jeremiah 29:11 says:

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

This verse reminds me that my waiting has a purpose.

Become the Friend You’re Praying For

So, to the girl reading this, if you asked me how to find healthy friendships, my simple answer would be:

Make the most of the wait.

Instead of spending this season wondering why you still feel like no one’s first choice or like the extra seat at the table, become the friend you are praying for.

Listen.

Love people well.

Show genuine care for them.

Make the most of the season God has placed you in.

You may not know when your friendships will look the way you’ve been praying they would. I don’t either. But we can know the One who is writing our stories.

God has a plan for you, even in the seasons that feel lonely.

And maybe one day, you’ll look back on this season and realize that the waiting wasn’t wasted at all.

Maybe God was shaping your heart, teaching you to trust Him, and showing you how to love people well—all while using you as the blessing someone else had been praying for.

– Emersyn Cummings

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READ

Psalm 27:14 (NIV)

“Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Read the verse slowly. Notice that David doesn’t say waiting will always be easy. Instead, he connects waiting with strength and courage.

As you read, think about the friendships you’ve been praying for and what it might look like to trust God with them while still choosing to love the people He has placed around you today.

REFLECT

1. Have you ever felt like the “extra friend” or like everyone else had someone they were closer to? How has that affected the way you see yourself?
2. When you feel lonely or left out, what are you most tempted to believe about yourself, your friendships, or God?
3. What do you think it means to become the friend you’re praying for?
4. Who has God already placed in your life that you could intentionally love, encourage, or listen to this week?

JOURNAL

Think about the kind of friend you have been praying for.

What qualities does she have? How does she make you feel? How does she show up for you?

Now, instead of only asking God to bring that kind of friend into your life, ask Him how you can become that kind of friend to someone else.

Finish this sentence:

“While I wait for the friendships I’m praying for, I can love the people God has placed around me by ____________________.”

PRAY

God, thank You for seeing me in the moments when I feel lonely, forgotten, or like I am no one’s first choice.

Help me remember that my worth is not determined by who chooses me, invites me, or calls me their best friend.

Teach me to trust You with my friendships and with the people You bring into my life. Instead of spending this season wishing it looked different, show me how to love the people around me well.

Make me the kind of friend who listens, encourages, shows up, and reflects Your heart.

When waiting feels hard, remind me that You are still working and that this season is not wasted. Help me become the friend I have been praying for and trust You with the rest of my story.

Amen.